17DECEMBER2017

I HAVE THE STRONG TEMPTATION THAT URGE ME TO QUIT THIS JOB ASAP. CURRENTLY WAITING FOR MARCH TO MAKE UP THAT 2 YEARS BEFORE I LEAVE. BUT THESE 3 MONTHS JUST SIMPLY PASS SO SLOW AND NOTHING WENT RIGHT RECENTLY. BECAUSE OF ONE BAD FLIGHT THAT MAKES ME FELT SO DEMORALIZED. THIS JOB IS REALLY DESTROYING ME. BE IT PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY. PERHAPS I HAVE BEEN HIDING EVERYTHING TO MYSELF FOR TOO LONG, THAT WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ME NOW, JUST CRASHED ME SO BADLY. I LOST MY PATIENCE, I LOST MY MOTIVATION FOR WORK, I LOST EVERYTHING. I GAVE UP EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE JUST FOR MY JOB. BUT IN RETURN, I'M GETTING CRITICIZED BY CREW ETC. SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHY AM I DOING THESE TO MYSELF. I TOLD MYSELF NOT TO GET AFFECTED BY WHAT OTHERS SAID AND THINK ABOUT ME. BUT SOMETIMES, IS REALLY TOUGH. WHEN THE TIME FINALLY CAME FOR ME TO LEAVE THIS JOB, GOOD FLIGHTS WILL COME ALONG AND IT'S GONNA MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND AGAIN. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I SHOULD STAY ON OR LEAVE, AFTER WHATEVER THAT HAS JUST HAPPENED. P.S. LATE NIGHT THOUGHTS

17DECEMBER2017

BEING A WORKAHOLIC CAN BE GOOD AND BAD. TRYING TO NUMB MYSELF WITH WORK YET MEETING BAD CREW REALLY MAKE ME FEEL LIKE LEAVING. DOES SENIORITY REALLY MEAN THAT MUCH IN AIRLINE INDUSTRY? IF THAT'S SO, WOULD YOU PREFER SENIORITY BY BATCH NUMBERS OR BY STAFF ID. OR EVEN BETTER, BY AGE. WHY CAN'T HUMAN JUST BE NICE TO ONE ANOTHER? WHY MUST THERE BE ZAPPING ONBOARD. EVERYONE WAS ONCE A JUNIOR, ONCE BLURRED. EVEN SENIORS CAN BE BLUR TOO. DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE SENIOR, YOU CAN BOSS ANYONE AROUND. JUST BECAUSE A CREW IS BEING QUIET, HUMBLE, YOU JUST HAVE TO ZAP HER. IS THAT WHY MOST JUNIORS BECAME SO RUDE TO SENIORS? BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER DOESN'T KILL YOU. "WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER." YES I BELIEVED THAT. BUT WHY DIDN'T IT APPLY TO ME. WHY CAN'T I JUST FOR ONCE STAND STRONG FOR MYSELF. AREN'T SENIORS THERE TO GUIDE THE JUNIORS. IF NOT, WHAT'S THE POINT OF CALLING THEMSELVES "SENIORS". SENIORS- BASED ON EXPERIENCE, AGE ETC. JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE BEFORE THIS, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CRITICIZE OTHERS. YOU SHOULD BE GUIDING THEM INSTEAD. THERE WAS ONCE A ZAPPY CREW, THAT'S WHY THERE ARE SO MANY ZAPPY CREW NOW. GAIN THAT RESPECT, IF YOU WANT OTHERS TO RESPECT YOU. "EAT THAT HUMBLE PIE AND YOU WILL SURVIVE." - AS OF WHAT THEY SAID.