23OCTOBER2017

AS I GROW OLDER, STARTING TO BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. I FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY. I FORGOTTEN BOUT HOW BLESSED I AM WHENEVER MY BIRTHDAY COMES. INSTEAD, I FEEL SAD AND STARTED TO SHED TEARS BEFORE EVERY NIGHT OF BIRTHDAY AND ON MY BIRTHDAY ITSELF. BIRTHDAY, USED TO BE SOMETHING WORTH TO CELEBRATE AND COMMEMORATE. BUT NOW, I JUST FELT THAT IT'S SUCH A BURDEN. BURDENSOME TO EVEN THINK BOUT HOW TO CELEBRATE. MY BIRTHDAY ALWAYS FALL ON THE DAY WHEREBY NOBODY IS FREE. EVERYONE JUST SIMPLY COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW TROUBLESOME IT IS. I HATE OCTOBER SO MUCH NOW. I WOULD RATHER WORK ON MY BIRTHDAY THAN HAVING AN OFF. MOST CREW WILL TEND TO REQUEST FOR OFF ON THEIR BIRTHDAY. ITS A BLESSING TO GET AN OFF ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. BUT I THINK FOR ME, HAVING AN OFF ON MY BIRTHDAY WOULD ACTUALLY MAKE ME FEEL MORE BURDENSOME. AT LEAST I WORK, I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING. IS THIS TELLING ME SOMETHING. 2ND YEAR CRYING BEFORE AND ON MY BIRTHDAY ITSELF. I FEEL HAPPIER TO WORK ON MY BIRTHDAY I GUESS. AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE FREE TIME TO STARE INTO SPACE, OVERTHINK, OR JUST SIMPLY WASTING MY TIME DOING NOTHING. I START TO SPEAK LESSER THAN I USED TO BE. SLOWLY.. STARTING TO PREFER ALONE TIME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME LATELY. 2017 SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD BUT NO, IT HAS BEEN SO BAD SINCE THE START OF THE YEAR. BASICALLY, ITS THE WORST YEAR EVER.

06OCTOBER2017 - 19TH

BOND ENDED. I'VE LOST MY MOTIVATION TO WORK. IN A BLINK OF AN EYE, ITS MY 19TH MONTH OF WORKING IN THIS AIRLINE. TIME FLIES. EVERYDAY JUST SIMPLY WORK, SLEEP, EXERCISE, REPEAT. HONESTLY SPEAKING BEING A WORKAHOLIC IS WORST THAN BEING A STUDENT. BUT I WOULD SAY WORKING IS BETTER THAN STUDYING. MANY THINGS HAPPENED BUT I THINK I'M JUST TOO IMMUNED TO IT. WHATEVER BAD HAPPENED, JUST LET IT GO AND MOVE ON. NO TIME TO EVEN OVERTHINK BOUT IT. I'VE LEARNT BOUT SOMETHING UPON ALL THESE NEGATIVE THINGS HAPPENED. WHEN YOU FEEL HAPPY, REWARD YOURSELF WITH SLEEP. WHEN YOU FEEL UNHAPPY, ANGRY, SAD, ETC. JUST RUN. RUN NON-STOP. VENT OFF THE UNHAPPINESS AND START A NEW DAY AGAIN TOMORROW. WHAT'S GOOD BOUT THIS JOB: TIME FLIES. BEING A SENIOR, I HATE TO BE COMPARED TO JUNIORS. SUCKS TO BE A SENIOR/JUNIOR IN AN AIRLINE. IF YOU ASK ALL THE CREW, THEY WILL TELL YOU THE POSITIVENESS ABOUT THIS JOB BUT THEY WILL NEVER REVEAL THE UNHAPPINESS. BECAUSE OVERALL, BEING A CABIN CREW IS A "GLAMOROUS" JOB AS EVERYONE THOUGHT. BEING AS A CREW, IT'S NOT AS EASY AS JUST SERVING. MEETING NEW PASSENGERS, UNHAPPY PASSENGERS, GRUMPY PASSENGERS,DEMANDING PASSENGERS, ZAPPY CREW, CREW WHO DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER TO HELP ETC. AS MY BOND ENDED,I FELT THAT ALL MY FLIGHTS WERE SO BAD. NONE OF MY FLIGHTS ARE GOOD. PERHAPS ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH WILL HAVE GOOD FLIGHT. BUT IT'S SO RARE. SOMETIMES I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF THIS JOB BUT YET I WANT TO PROVE TO EVERYONE THAT, "THE MORE YOU WANT TO DESTROY ME, THE MORE I WILL STAND UP STRONG." I USED TO THINK CRYING IS FOR WEAK. THEREFORE I ALWAYS FELT SO NEGATIVE. BUT AS TIME PASSES, I REALIZE, ONCE IN A WHILE. CRY IT OUT, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. BUT NEVER EVER CRY INFRONT OF SOMEONE YOU HATE. THE MORE THEY WANT TO SEE YOU BREAKDOWN, THE MORE YOU SMILE. DON'T EVER GET DESTROYED BY SOMEONE ELSE. THIS JOB HAS TOUGHENED ME UP. I CAN JUST SIMPLY DON'T BOTHER ABOUT HOW OTHERS LOOK AT ME, JUDGE ME. JUST LIVE THE WAY I WANT. BECAUSE I DON'T LIVE FOR THEM. 5 MORE MONTH TO GO ! JIAYOU JIAYOU!