17DECEMBER2017

I HAVE THE STRONG TEMPTATION THAT URGE ME TO QUIT THIS JOB ASAP. CURRENTLY WAITING FOR MARCH TO MAKE UP THAT 2 YEARS BEFORE I LEAVE. BUT THESE 3 MONTHS JUST SIMPLY PASS SO SLOW AND NOTHING WENT RIGHT RECENTLY. BECAUSE OF ONE BAD FLIGHT THAT MAKES ME FELT SO DEMORALIZED. THIS JOB IS REALLY DESTROYING ME. BE IT PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY. PERHAPS I HAVE BEEN HIDING EVERYTHING TO MYSELF FOR TOO LONG, THAT WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ME NOW, JUST CRASHED ME SO BADLY. I LOST MY PATIENCE, I LOST MY MOTIVATION FOR WORK, I LOST EVERYTHING. I GAVE UP EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE JUST FOR MY JOB. BUT IN RETURN, I'M GETTING CRITICIZED BY CREW ETC. SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHY AM I DOING THESE TO MYSELF. I TOLD MYSELF NOT TO GET AFFECTED BY WHAT OTHERS SAID AND THINK ABOUT ME. BUT SOMETIMES, IS REALLY TOUGH. WHEN THE TIME FINALLY CAME FOR ME TO LEAVE THIS JOB, GOOD FLIGHTS WILL COME ALONG AND IT'S GONNA MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND AGAIN. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I SHOULD STAY ON OR LEAVE, AFTER WHATEVER THAT HAS JUST HAPPENED. P.S. LATE NIGHT THOUGHTS